Things I Hate #8: Those Ads on TVMobile (and TVMobile itself, come to think of it)

That's right.

Come on, two of the downright WORST ads I've ever seen were on TVMobile, and on a bus you're at best a captive audience. Every time they publish their viewership stats I want to puke.

Because it's not a valid viewership stat if viewers have not freely chosen to watch your channel. That's the obvious gauge of a TV channel's popularity--how many tune in out of their free choice, not how many buses keep you forced to the tube while you ride them.

Imagine this--I'm putting dogs through feed trials. How accurate do you suppose the results will be if I chained the dogs up, left only MR. KIBBLE brand dog food for them to munch on 24/7, and refused to allow them any other kind of nourishment?

No other brands. No other food. No biscuits. Just MR. KIBBLE.

And presto, I announce that out of 100 pooches sample, 95% took to it like bees to honey, wolfing it down and growing healthy and happy.

I neglect to mention what happens to the other 5%--but would this kind of trial be a fair indication of the taste and nutritional value of MR. KIBBLE?

It's the same thing for TVMobile. Right now it's filled with banal advertisements you need the patience of Job to sit through--and at least God could hear Job when he complained.

Just two examples that really churn my stomach:

BILE-INDUCING ADVERT #1:

That Environmentalism Ad With The Long-Faced Young People and The Stupid Music in The Background

I'm not as creative as most people in advertising, but whoever dreamed up this ad are NOT "most people". First is the horrible tune that jars ears and irritates everyone to the point they turn and look out for what's making that hideous noise; only to find out it's the overture for a hyper-serious young man beginning to preach for the Church of Environmentalism. He speaks one sentence; then it's a girl, then an-NOTH-er guy and they ARE ALL sPEA-king Li-IKE this.

"If I can work for a cleaner and greener environment..." the last speaker says. All I can reply is don't expect me to join you, feller. You've just cost me three minutes of my life I'll never get back. And if my ears could afford lawyers, they'd sue.

BILE-INDUCER #2:

That Long, Long, Long Trailer for The Leap Years That Shows Scene After Scene From The Movie With No Rhyme Or Reason And Then Somehow Expects Us To Be Interested Enough To See It Despite Thinking "OK, Enough Already!" A Dozen Times

I think I've made my point after those few words. The movie trailer, unfortunately, doesn't--instead, we're treated to snippet after snippet of Wong Li-Lin, Ananda Everingham and the cast of The Leap Years as the movie's plot plays out in vignette-calendar picture-vignette-vignette-calendar-vignette-repeat order. Gee, Mr. Marketing Man, did the studio bosses threaten to have you fired, roasted and well-done if you didn't take pains to show EVERY cast member in the trailer? The obsession the trailer has with covering everyone from Wong to Vernetta Lopez to Qi Yuwu is just plain creepy. Less regard seems to have been shown to audience information and cohesion than to simply having cast members go about their business as if to say "This is a very emotionally-charged movie!"

I'm not interested in going on and on and dragging myself down to that level; the trailer doesn't deserve my emulation, thanks very much.