Simpsons, Bean and the big screen

It seemed just a few years ago I was laughing my head off (not literally) at Mr. Bean’s antics—the Brit “formal bum” and the comedian playing him (Rowan Atkinson) need no introduction. I’ve never forgotten how he reacted when he pulled the wrong exam paper from his envelope, tried to pop a sweet in church… and even went swimming and got his trunks lifted (you’ll never believe how). I could go on, but I’ll get to the point—do five-minute comedy sketches make for a good ninety-minute movie?

I thought the answer was yes when I saw 2002’s Bean: the Ultimate Disaster Movie, in which Mr. Bean is picked to go to Los Angeles by the museum that hires him as a security guard; they want him to pose as an art expert in the unveiling of Whistler’s Mother.

Cue laughs. Cue Bean cluelessly walking into the shower while his American host is inside—and while he tries to push Bean out the phone rings. Picking it up, Bean replies to the caller, “David? Yes, he’s in the shower with me.” And Bean desperately trying to save the painting after smudging ink on it (Watch it on DVD! Just watch it!).

Yep, I loved Mr. Bean’s first outing. So when Mr. Bean’s Holiday came out this year I grabbed my brother, cousins and five tickets to see it. After all, this is supposedly Atkinson’s last outing as Bean. After all, there’s already been a great first movie. Surely in Atkinson’s and writer Richard Curtis’s expert hands, Bean 2 will give us more of the Bean-formula. Right? Would it rise above the curse of sequel-itis, it having been five years?

Wrong. Never in my life had I felt so tempted to walk out of a movie.

Because, Mr. Curtis, we’re supposed to believe situations like the one Bean finds himself in can actually happen. What made the first film work so well was the knowledge that Bean is such a horrible worker his employers at the art gallery would really plot to get rid of him, and the comedy that results when Bean just will not take things lying down. Even the scene where Bean saves a wounded policeman is entirely in character for him—situations, characters, and solutions all make a weird, Mr. Bean-esque sense. We sympathise with him, for all the right reasons.

Bean 2 throws it all away. The storyline opens promisingly enough, with Bean taking a camcorder with him on a holiday to France. When he asks a man on the Channel train platform to film him boarding it, he takes so long the train moves off without the stranger. Unknown to Bean, the man’s son is on board… and it turns out he’s a director, and the family is on their way to the Cannes Film Festival. Bean knows big-scale public trouble, and I was thrilled… for all of five minutes.

Then comes the scene where he leaves his passport behind on a public phone. I felt like going to the toilet and never coming back; aren’t there services on French railways that deal with such an eventuality? And the storyline contortions the writers had to throw in to keep the jokes flowing were just too much for me to digest.

Bean’s bus ticket to Cannes blowing out of his mouth, and getting caught on the keg of a chicken he has to chase through the French countryside. (Couldn’t he have explained things to the driver who was right in front of him, and bought another?)

Not a very good exit for a character I grew up knowing and watching every chance I got.

But why am I bringing this up? Because the same thing is happening with The Simpsons.

Now Channel 5 seems to have an on-again, off-again relationship with the yellow-skinned characters who, again, need no introduction. I only ever saw a very few episodes, and the Powers That Be seemed to take great delight in putting the show on Sunday evenings, a timeslot they could hijack with movies, event coverage like Powerboat racing in Marina Bay (I’m not kidding) and whatever caught their fancy.

In short, The Simpsons isn’t a very Singapore-friendly show, and the feeling was mutual.

But the MDA seems to have relaxed a bit (I hope) and allowed The Simpsons Movie in, which I’ll watch tonight with a heart of eager hope. Will it be any good? Seems reviews have all been positive, and I really, really hope I won’t be disappointed this time. Bean 2 left an awful taste in my mouth; hopefully Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie will wash it out and replace it with the radioactively-cool sweetness that can only come from watching Homer get pummeled over and over again.